Emotion

Some of you may know that I belong to a volunteer organization called Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep or NILMDTS. It is an amazing program that puts families with dying babies in touch with photographers that will come and document their last moments. I have been a part of this organization for a while now, but have never actually had to do a real session. Today I did two.

Oh my. Today was a really emotional day. I cannot describe how hard it was to watch this little baby pass on. I cannot explain the raw emotion that was in that hospital room. I left so very grateful for my three little angels. Having been in the NICU myself with the twins... it was just so real thinking that it could have been me in there on the other side of the lens. I am so incredibly blessed to have three beautiful, healthy little children. I cannot imagine the loss that these parents are going through. To lose a child. It is unnatural. It is against the life cycle. You lose your parents, not your children. I almost feel like it wasn't real. That is didn't really happen.  I am so glad to have my faith and to know that these little souls are going to be with Heavenly Father. I wonder if the parents I worked with today know that. 

I don't really have to much more to say about today. It was terrifying, it was so incredibly sad, it was so real, but it also strengthened my testimony. I KNOW that there is a plan of salvation. I know that these little babies were here for a purpose even if their lives were for just a brief moment in this mortal state. How grateful I am for this knowledge. I know that when the took their last little breathes that they weren't just leaving us... they were going back home. 

Kiss you babies tonight. Give them an extra love or two. This life is buy a brief moment and sometimes it takes an experience like this to make us pause and reflect on just how very much we have and how quickly it could be taken away from us.